Saturday, February 28, 2015

Physically Remembering

There is one chair we have, the glider in the nursery, that I can physically still remember what it is like to be super pregnant with Sloane. I cry when I remember, but I love it so much to remember that huge belly and those kicks and squirms.

The Sunday night before she was born

I sat in her room today, because the sun was shining, and the windows in her room let the sun in just beautifully. As I sat in this same chair, 5 months later to the day, I could still feel her. I could remember that belly and those kicks, but I could also feel her spirit, and know she is ok. 

Her little friends that will always be waiting for her
I took a picture of me in this same chair today, with no large pregnant belly, to show what a difference 5 months can make, physically, mentally and emotionally. I would give anything to go back and get induced the night of that first picture on September 28, but my naive little brain had no idea what was in store in the next few days.

This is the blanket my mom made for her, which I still like to cuddle up with sometimes. It's a shame for something so beautiful to not have a little babe to be wrapped up in it.  But I am grateful to have a spot in the house I can always count on to go and remember those sweet (although they weren't so sweet at the time) kicks.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful blanket, and nursery. It's so crazy to see that picture of you just before it all happened. To see almost a whole different person. Someone who doesn't yet know loss. I hurt with you and for you.