I get by with a little help from my friends

This has been the theme of my week.

I am quickly approaching my first year completed as a school psychologist! Hallelujah. As I was talking about this to our guidance counselor intern this week, I made the comment that I've only made it at work this year with a little help from my friends. She helped with one of my social skills groups, and so she was one of these friends. I said this in a lighthearted manner,  but after thinking about it, I realized the depth behind the catchy song. There is honestly no way I would have survived my first year without the help of so many people! There are so many questions that come up in your first year that you really can't prepare for, and you need solid people to turn to. I am a big fan of the team approach to problem solving because, 1. All of the pressure isn't just on me, and 2. You get the best ideas by taking several people's experiences and backgrounds into account when looking at a difficult situation. 

This also got me thinking about my personal life, and how I also would not have survived this year without my friends. I am at a point in my life where I feel like I have some amazing, incredible women who for some reason have picked me to be their friend and watch out for me and counsel me and listen and check in and feel the feelings with me. They are truly there. After the honeymoon stage of marriage where I wasn't too interested in having close girlfriends, and grad school where I had incredible women in my life but our lives revolved around school, I am at a point where I can have and want close friends. And it's awesome! 

In school, I remember learning about the importance of social support and a strong support system. This seems obvious, but having people who have this social support deal better with challenges. I've mentioned this before, but we have felt this support so much at various times this year. I've just felt truly loved, and that feeling is priceless.  We really do get by with a little help from our friends. 

This has all led me to plan our next big adventure: the 2015 Ragnar going from Cumberland, MD to Washington, D.C. on Sloane's birthday. 

The timing is incredible, and I can't think of a better way to remember her while still making personal growth than doing a big relay with 11 friends! I am so incredibly excited. It gives me a goal and something to plan and think about other than my reproductive life, which is a break I need so badly. I have a ways to go in training, but I can't wait to get started! 

Back to Work

I have been neglecting my blog lately, and you might say, my feelings, since going back to work after Thanksgiving.

Work is a welcome distraction from sitting at home, but it still a distraction from Sloane, and that part I do not like. It seems this has all caught up to me this week!

Work is stressful, between fitting everything into a day that I need to get done, writing quality reports that could hold up in court if need be, and pleasing parents who never seem to be happy, despite our best efforts to do the best thing for their child. My days are filled, but they are not filled with what I wanted them to be filled with.

Time is strange. We are at a point where life feels relatively normal. The holidays are over, and while I envisioned many things in our future with Sloane, the day-to-day tedium of normal life has taken us back again. In some ways, this is a blessing, as we need to make money and I don't think it's physically possible to live with the kind of grief we felt in the early weeks for a long time. But it also sucks because it just means it is farther and farther away from when we held her, when she was alive, and when she was here with us. It is getting harder and harder to remember the weight of her in my arms, and what her kicks and punches felt like in my belly.

On my way home tonight, I stopped at Chick-fil-a to get dinner. I realized I forgot my wallet after I ordered in the drive-thru, but I had my check book. They do not take checks. But the amazing manager said it was no problem, at which point I started bawling. Emotions are raw, eh??

Then I made it home to find a beautiful, lovely note from an old friend I haven't seen or heard from in years. While it added to my tears, these were a mix of sadness, in remembering our sweet Sloane's funeral through her words, and joy, in knowing Sloane's time here has touched someone else. I so appreciate knowing how she has affected people, because that is all we have left right now, is the hope that her influence will continue to reach out and make people love more, love deeper, and appreciate the time they have.

This may seem like a random jumble of thoughts, but it has been therapeutic and has marked this day for me, so I do not apologize :)

Inclusion

Over the past week, I had the chance to attend two conferences. The first one was Maryland's Inclusion Conference and had Paula Kluth as the featured speaker. The second one was Delaware's LIFE Conference. The featured speaker was Aaron Bishop, the executive director for the National Council on Disability. In addition, I attended three breakout sessions:
1) Unbreakable Drive: two guys who are both in wheelchairs shared their life stories to help motivate kids with disabilities and the people that work with them;
2) Delaware's Accessible Instructional Materials: provides textbooks and other curriculum materials in different formats for kids who have a print disability; and
3) the project I work for, the Delaware ACCESS Project, who provides training and support for teachers to help kids with severe disabilities gain access to the general education curriculum.

Before I started down the career path I am on, I did not think much about the world of disabilities. Unfortunately, I did not know many people with disabilities and my life was not very much affected by it. I am grateful for all that I have learned over the past 1.5 and regret that I did not know more before.

Special education looks different in every state, and to some extent, in every district. Sometimes kids with disabilities are included in the general education setting for most of the day, sometimes for only part of the day, sometimes just for lunch and specials, and sometimes not at all. The type and severity of the disability often plays a big role in this placement as well. The biggest thing that I believe after working in this community for the short time I have is that all students have the ability to learn and succeed.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that we are all sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us, knows us, and wants us to succeed. This applies to me, to you, and to everyone. We all have different strengths and weaknesses while we are on Earth, some of which are more apparent than others. Some are physical, some are emotional, some have to do with relationships, etc. But we all have great potential and we can help or hinder one another in that effort to reach our greatest potential. Does it make a difference to you when someone believes in you and thinks you can achieve something versus when someone writes you off as a failure? It is those people who believe in us no matter what that help us most believe in ourselves, keep trying, and eventually help us succeed.

Unfortunately, this belief and assumption about everyone having great potential and ability is not always the case with people with disabilities. Historically, people with disabilities were often institutionalized and seen as inferior. Today, there is still sometimes a mindset in education that certain kids need to be separated from the others, but inclusion benefits kids with and without disabilities socially, emotionally, and academically.

Our society is too often focused on competition and winning, which can often leave people out and create a harsh learning and working environment. If we could focus instead on cooperation and learning from each other's differences, our learning and working environments would be a happier and safer place for everyone.

I am sure as I continue down this road, I will continue to learn and grow and develop these ideas even more, but for now, I wanted to share some of what I do every day and the passion that is developing for this field of work.

Hurricane Time!

I have been blogged out lately, but the rains have started and I figure that a hurricane is the perfect excuse and opportunity to catch up on life, right?

My view of the dreary beginnings of the storm--no damage yet!

We are stocked up on water and have enough food to last a few days. We pulled everything inside from off our patio. Now it is just time to wait!

I had orientation for my assistantship yesterday. It is at the Center for Disabilities Studies on campus--more can be learned about it here. Yesterday was mostly a general overview and I know I have a lot more to learn, but I am so excited for the chance I have to work in this area and hopefully help make a difference in people's lives.

Josh and I also just signed up for my first bike race (ride). It is the Amish Country Bike Tour. Josh will be doing the 100m ride and I will be doing the 15m ride. I think I am much more nervous than he is. That may be in part due to the fact that I have not ridden my bike since we have lived here...one our friends has been borrowing it for his main source of transportation, and I have yet to get it back, so I am starting to feel the pressure! We are doing the ride with a couple of friends though, so that will make it easier and less stressful.

We are also still doing well starting our training for the marathon! We probably won't start officially training until October/November, but we are just trying to get into a good routine of running right now. I am happy to say that running with Josh has also made me faster! I used to average about 10min/mile, but since I have started running with him, I average more of 8:30min/mile! We ran 3 miles on Thurs where I actually ran a bit faster than 8min/mile. That's pretty remarkable considering my fastest mile time ever is about 7:20! So I am pleased with the results so far, although I have to admit that I really do not care how fast I ever run. To me, the joy of running is in the exercise itself and the accomplishment you feel while you're doing and after you're done, not in how fast you can do it. Maybe someday I will get so good at running distance that I can work on improving my times, but for now, I am happy to just finish the distance :)